Heart Lies & Alibis Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Epilogue

  Heart Lies & Alibis

  By

  Pepper Chase

  Copyright

  Heart Lies & Alibis

  Copyright © 2015 by Pepper Chase

  All rights reserved.

  Permission by the author must be granted before any part of this book can be used for advertising purposes. This includes the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons - living or dead - is coincidental.

  Dedication

  To C/a/c - You are my heart, my soul, and my happily-ever-after.

  Thank you for being with me every step of the crazy journey

  as I brought this book from my mind to the page.

  There is no remedy for love but to love more

  ~ Henry David Thoreau

  Once upon a time I turned forty and my life fell apart. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. Let me explain.

  Chapter 1

  My husband and I started a law firm almost a decade ago and had built it up to a thriving success but it had taken a toll on our marriage along the way. As was common on most days, I was still at work long after everyone in the office had gone home. I had a hard time letting the job go and that had always been part of our many problems. When the words of the document I was reading began to swarm on the screen of my laptop, I knew it was finally time to call it a night. I hit save on the document I was working on and closed the lid on the computer.

  I leaned back in my chair for a moment, closing my eyes in the hopes of getting enough energy to walk out to my car and drive home. It had been a hell of a week at the firm and I was drained. The feeling was nothing new but tonight I felt even more wiped out.

  Perhaps some of my exhaustion also stemmed from the fact I would be turning forty the next day. Where the hell had the time gone? One last sigh and I pushed to my feet, gathered my things and headed to the door. I stopped once I was outside and locked it before pulling on my coat and heading to the front of the office. I glanced towards my husband's door across the expansive suite and was surprised to see his light was still on. He had told me he was headed home a few hours ago but he must have changed his mind, so I altered my path and headed towards his office instead.

  Things had been so strained between us the past year and I wasn't sure where our marriage was headed. Between the stress and demands of the firm and growing pains in our marriage, I was worried. I knew I still loved Thad and wasn't ready to give up on us yet so maybe there was still a chance. I thought we could grab some dinner before we headed home, like we used to back when we first started the firm, in the days where we still sought out the others company.

  I smiled at the memories and felt a bit less exhausted. I liked the idea of spending some quality time with my husband. We were set to go away for the weekend to celebrate my birthday anyway, to maybe rekindle some of the spark in our marriage, so what harm would there be in getting the celebration started tonight?

  I set my briefcase and coat on his assistant's chair, shook my hair free from the up-twist I usually wore and undid the top button on my blouse as a naughty idea crossed my mind. Maybe it was time to break his new leather couch in properly. We hadn't fooled around at the office in years. I smiled in anticipation of where the evening could go.

  As I reached the closed door of my husband's office, I thought I could hear some muffled moans coming from inside. I paused before knocking, listening for a moment longer as the cold realization of what I was hearing washed over me. My body moved forward, acting on its own accord, and I opened the door with slightly shaking hands. I stopped in the doorway, staring without saying a word while my brain attempted to process what was happening in the room.

  The couple inside the room was faced away from me with the silver haired man doing his best to pleasure the nubile blonde beneath him. I recognized my husband's ass, immediately, as he pumped rhythmically into the young woman who lay on the leather sofa. Ten years of marriage and another three years as lovers before that made his derriere hard to forget. His young partner was partially blocked from me, and it was only after I cleared my throat to alert them to my presence, did her face come into view.

  "Hello Thad, Amberly. I see you're working late tonight. Please don't stop on my account. I can wait until you're finished. I know from experience, it won't take long." I crossed my arms to keep myself from shaking with rage. I was impressed I was able to keep my voice so calm.

  "Son of a bitch", my husband mumbled as he fumbled to disengage himself from his partner, flopping beside her on the sofa and reaching for a pillow to cover himself. Always the consummate gentleman, he handed one to Amberly as well. "Reagan, oh my god. Let me explain." His face looked ashen and I knew he was scrambling for words he would never find.

  I almost smiled at the irony of the statement. How many men caught in this position had uttered those same words? "Please. I would love to hear you explain this, Councilor." But what could he possibly say to make the situation better?

  His face paled and his gaze dropped from looking to the ground. At least he had the decency to be embarrassed, which was unusual for Thad and his enormous ego. "Well, Umm, this isn't what it looks like. I mean. It is what it looks like but.... Well. Ah hell." He was at a loss for words for the first time since we met.

  I pounced, my voice becoming terser with each interaction. "Really? It isn't what it looks like? So I didn't just catch you fucking your legal assistant on the eve of my 40th birthday?" I flung my hand out in exasperation.

  Thad's eyes flared and he set his mouth in annoyance. "I'd appreciate if you weren't so crass Reagan. We can discuss this situation like adults." I could not believe he still had the balls to chastise me at a moment like this. Thad believed women should avoid cursing at all costs. Thad believed many things about women I had failed to live up to over the years until it became a running joke between us. But I wasn't laughing tonight.

  "I'm so sorry." I mocked sarcastically. "You're right dear husband. How uncouth of me to use such language at a time like this. I do apologize. Please, continue with your explanation of this situation and I will avoid engaging in any more crass behavior."

  He glared at me and I glared back. I wanted to laugh out loud as I looked at the two of them as they sat on the edge of the sofa. Caught like horny teenagers making out on lover's lane, their embarrassment and guilt filled their faces. I felt tears threaten the back of my eyes but I quickly willed them away. I was hurt, humiliated, and truth be told, heartbroken by what had transpired in the past few minutes but damned if I would ever give these two the satisfaction of seeing me break in front of them. I still had some pride and I made it a rule, never to cry.

  Our marriage had been on the rocks for many months and I had often wondered about Thad's fidelity but having his betrayal presented to me in full color like this burned me deep inside. He would pay for this indiscretio
n in as many ways as I could devise but damn if I wouldn't make sure to keep my dignity in collecting the fee.

  "So tell me Thad because I must know. What were your exact plans for this weekend? Have a quick fuck at the office with your juvenile jezebel before coming home to your wife to leave for a romantic weekend away? I didn't think you had it in you do be such a Lothario you could satisfy two women in one weekend." I stopped, a wicked mean smirk on my face. "Wait, are you popping some of those little blue pills again?"

  His eyes flashed with anger and I knew I had hit a sore spot. Thad was fourteen years my senior, which made him nearly thirty years older than Amberly by my calculations. I knew he would probably have needed more than a few Viagra to make it through the weekend he appeared to have had planned.

  He started to speak again but he took one look at my face and stopped. At least he had the dignity to drop his head in shame. Amberly, on the other hand, looked like a deer caught in my headlights. Her eyes darted nervously from me to Thad and back again, clearly unsure of what the hell she should do. She clutched the pillow Thad had given her but it did little to hide her 34DD chest. She bit her lip and looked like a child sitting there and the sight made me more sad than angry.

  I looked at my husband again. All I could do was shake my head slowly in disgust. "Really Thad? Did you have to turn our life into a sad cliché? She's young enough to be your daughter for Christ's sake. You couldn't cheat on me with one of our friends like a respectable husband would do?"

  He sighed loudly, his face a shade redder than before, but he remained silent. He knew I was right in calling him out on his choice of lovers as we had often joked about the ridiculousness of successful men bedding younger women simply to satisfy a mid-life crisis. So he had become the butt of his own lame joke of a life and I was making sure he knew it.

  His voice was tired when he finally spoke and for a moment I felt some sympathy for him. "I'm sorry Reagan. I never meant to hurt you. Things haven't been good between us for a long time and I needed someone to make things better. I know I screwed up and I wish I had done things differently. I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry for the ...umm... bad timing of you finding out like this with your birthday tomorrow and our plans for the weekend." He shrugged slightly. His attitude was as blasé as if he had forgotten to bring home dinner or take out the trash not destroyed our marriage. I was raging now.

  I threw my hands in the air, my eyes wide with anger as I spit out the words. "Are you serious right now? The end of our marriage on the eve of my 40th birthday is 'bad timing' in your opinion? Fuck you Thad. What kind of bastard thinks that way?" His eyes grew large as I stormed on. "Make other sleeping arrangements for tonight because I don't want to see your lying, cheating, worthless ass anywhere near our home."

  I glanced again at Amberly and snorted. "But I'm sure finding an open bed to sleep in will be the least of your problems. You'll be hearing from my attorney." To hell with him and everything else, I thought as I turned and stomped out, slamming the door hard enough to shake the walls.

  My drive home passed in a blur and in spite of my best efforts was accompanied by free falling tears. I hated to cry because tears had always made me feel so vulnerable but I couldn't stop them tonight. I threw the car into park when I reached our driveway, knowing I couldn't chance trying to park in the garage in my current state. I walked in the house slamming the door behind me. I headed straight for the bar in the corner of the living room barely pausing as I grabbed the bottle and splashed two fingers of whiskey into a glass. I had the first drink downed without a moment's hesitation. The amber liquid burned all the way down to my stomach and I appreciated the pain.

  I poured another two fingers in the glass and turned to survey my home. Everywhere I looked I saw reminders of my life with Thad – as would happen after nearly fifteen years together – photos, mementos from trips, books we had shared, even places we had made love. It made me sick to think I had spent so many years building a life with him only to have it shattered in one evening. I slammed another shot. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions and I felt overwhelmed.

  It wasn't that I thought Thad was perfect – no husband is – but we were good together once upon a time. We had been friends as well as lovers and spouses but things had slowly started to change over time. We didn't see eye to eye on many things and had started to want different things out of life in the last few years. I sighed again. When had things fallen apart so badly he had turned to another woman?

  I grabbed the bottle and made my way up the staircase to our room.

  I let my clothes drop as I walked to the dresser. I retrieved some yoga pants and an over-sized sweatshirt. After pulling them on I turned and walked back out of the room. I knew I could not sleep in our marriage bed tonight, if ever again. The guest room was down the hall so I walked there instead. I finished another drink as I flopped onto the bed. I thought Thad a joke earlier but now I knew my own life had become a sorry cliché. How could he have cheated on me on the night before I would be turning forty of all times? Had he really set me up to be a middle-aged divorcé like so many women we knew? Did life have to have such a cruel sense of humor?

  By now the bourbon was flowing freely through my body and a much-needed numbness had taken over. But it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel nothing tonight. And after another shot, I felt the blissful fingers of sleep start pulling me to dreamland and I went willingly. I wanted to forget this day and all the shit it had rained down on my life. As I closed my eyes, the last image I saw floating across my mind was of Thad and Amberly and the shattered remains of my marriage. Happy 40th Birthday Reagan I whispered into the dark before passing out.

  Sunlight streamed, unhindered, through the guest room windows. Unlike the master, where I had installed special black out curtains because I was not fond of early morning wake ups, the guest room welcomed morning with open arms. Forced to exit sleep, I tried to sit up and was hit with the full effects of my choice to medicate my broken heart the night before with a bottle of bourbon. I groaned, flopping back on the pillow before rolling over and pulled the covers back over my pounding head as I silently wished the day to just go away.

  I dragged myself downstairs to the kitchen as the tortures of my hangover ravaged my body. Leaning against the counter I fumbled my way through making coffee and acutely aware that being forty and hung-over was proving to be a hell of a lot harder than when I was twenty-five and recovering from a bourbon soaked night. I dropped into a kitchen chair while I waited. I groaned in relief, pushing myself to my feet when I heard the coffee ding its finish. I knew without a doubt, coffee was my only saving grace at this point.

  After I filled a mug, I walked to my favorite chair in the family room and curled into it before I took a tentative first sip, praying my stomach wouldn't reject the coffee. I sighed in relief when nothing happened. As I drank more I took a mental inventory of how fucked up my life had become in less than twenty-four hours. I was supposed to be on my way to a lovely bed and breakfast on the coast for a romantic weekend of wine tasting and love making with my husband this morning. Instead, I was nursing a hangover and planning how I could best dissolve my marriage and likely, my law partnership.

  Once the coffee worked its magic and brought me back to the land of the living, I laid out my options. I could sit here alone, feeling sorry for myself all day or I could get my ass up and go out and enjoy my birthday. I knew if I stayed in the house I was allowing Thad to ruin yet another thing in my life and he wasn't worth it. The decision of what to do was easy. Fuck him for ruining our marriage and my birthday with his selfish behavior. I was going to celebrate my birthday if it killed me. My slightly diminishing hangover reminded me death was entirely possible if I had another night like the last one.

  But before I could commence with any celebrating, I needed to take care of some business. First, I called a locksmith and arranged for him to come as soon as possible to have all the locks on the house changed. There was no
way in hell Thad was coming in this house without my permission ever again. That should piss him off, I thought.

  Next, after a shower and another cup of coffee, I called my best friend Grace and gave her a brief rundown of my nightmare. We had been best friends since sophomore year in college and she knew me better than anyone. I shared some of the details but tried to keep it brief. Relieving the moment sucked, yet I had to tell someone. And if anyone could make the best of a bad situation, it was Grace. She soon had me laughing in spite of my misery.

  "You want me to go pay him a visit Reagan? Cut off his balls maybe? We could have them mounted above your fireplace, if you'd like." I laughed at the image, enjoying the thought immensely. Grace was the most proper, peace-loving woman I knew. To hear her talk like this lifted some of the darkness of the moment.

  She was a child psychologist and had been married for over fifteen years to her college sweetheart. They made marriage look good so I knew it was hard for her to imagine what it would feel like to be in my situation but I knew she was doing the best she could to have my back.

  "No, but thanks for the offer Grace. I don't think that would actually help the situation too much. And there is the fact I'm a lawyer and all. I happen to know something like that may be frowned upon by the law. But, I'll keep the offer in mind just in case."

  "Well, I have to do something to the asshole. I mean, I always knew he was going to hurt you in some way but I really thought he would be more gentlemanly about it. Maybe divorce you first at least."

  Grace and Thad had never gotten along and only tolerated each other for my sake. I sighed wishing she hadn't been so right about him. "He's not worth the jail time, Grace. Trust me. He'll get what he deserves."

  "Agreed. So what can I do for you, then? You wouldn't let me plan you a birthday party because Mr. Asshole was taking you away for the weekend but we can't let your big day go by without a celebration of some kind. I know, let's have a girls' night out. Oliver is away for the weekend at a conference and the girls are staying the night with friends so I'm all yours. We can get drunk like we did in college. Maybe try to flirt with some guys." This made me laugh again.